“Girls of the world aint nothing but trouble” – DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Price
There is an innate need and desire for both men and women to seek comfort stability and affection by developing relationships. We first develop relationships with our family, then friends, and eventually with lovers. Somewhere in the mix we develop attitudes about the opposite sex. I’m sure you can remember your first bedroom romp and or first serious relationship, what did it teach you about the opposite sex? Was it a positive experience or did it make you want to go on a killing spree to eliminate all that stood in your path? Chances are it may not have been either extreme, but it did teach you a helluva lot.
I find myself constantly in discussion with my male alliances about their frustration around women. Many have become distrusting of the entire gender, placing most women in the category of “no good, money-hungry, lazy” and are so overcome with their negative experiences that they would not be able to notice the one or a balanced female if she stood with her coochie less than an inch from his face. And is it because men are stupid, all out to hit and split and good for nothing themselves? No. To put down our men is put down myself, because they get to this world through a body like mine. Let’s decipher.
How can we overcome?
First off its important to acknowledge that dating, and dealings with the opposite sex is a challenge for both males and females. We all run into undesirables who will challenge and try our patience, wallets, trust, and time. It’s one thing to poke fun at the whole situation like DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince did, but it’s deeper than overtly scrutinizing males and even females can use to battle out the negative views they may hold about the opposite sex:
Man in the mirror
So you question how the hell the hell you got caught up with that cheating multiple baby-father having skeezer, but how about asking how you let yourself get caught up with her?
Stand in front of the mirror figuratively (cause that may be too much work for some) and take a good look. Would you go out with you? Would you be satisfied with what you have to offer in a relationship? If there are hesitations about anything.work on it. If you think you have a lot to offer in a relationship yet you know you lie every once in awhile about how many partners you rotate around on a weekly basis, not saying your in the wrong, but how do you expect complete and utter honesty from a partner you chose to be with? Just saying.
Slow Your Roll
Keisha on Monday, Tina on Friday maybe she sleeps over so technically its Saturday too, and after ignoring Paula’s calls for a week you have time to squeeze in some quality time on Wednesday. You’re not really into either of them, but those nuts speak louder than reason in your head. Try putting the boy on idle. You can put your phone on idle, or ignore calls and some of you claim to not be able to live without your phone, so try taking a time out. Take a time out and WATCH. Watch how the women on your recent callers list react, watch how women in balanced relationships treat their man- Take up female <strike>bird</strike> watching.
Direct Line
When you communicate with women, do they have access to your direct line or do they go through an operator to get to you? Meaning are your intentions for the relationship or non-relationship clear as day or are you sugar coating and mildly manipulating the delivery so that the message may take on other forms? Say what you mean and if its not understood by the other party, drop it like its hot.
All for You
Its important to have your girl’s best interest at heart but is her best interest often put before your best interest? Issues surrounding money are at the top of the list with men who have become fed up with women. She only want to take all my money from me. She can only take your money from you if you ALLOW her to. Then you need to ask yourself why you allow her to have her way with your wallet? Is this to keep her quiet and smiling? Is this because you know she would leave if you didn’t maintain the level of spending you may have done in the beginning of the relationship? Is your money used to control her?
A balanced relationship is about give and take. If you’re a throw it in the bag type dude you should be receiving, receiving balance, trust, and security and providing this as well.
A lot of work? Too much to think about? Or is the road a lot more clear?
Anything to add to the list? Any points that could be disputed?
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